Tuesday, February 14, 2012

A Different Light

Last week I decided that maybe it was time to take a break from agility with my dogs. I was feeling completely depressed about Wicca, and just couldn't seem to get past it. Everytime I tried to train Pixel or Brit in agility I couldn't really get into it. I was stuck.

So I decided that a break was in need. Some time off from training (even though I have already not been doing much I had been trying to make myself...) A break so that I wasn't training my dogs when my heart wasn't in it. Pixel is so sensitive to that sort of thing- she's not a dog that you can fake it with.  A break to give me a chance to see if Agility is as important to me as I think it is. I have no timeline.

I'm still teaching- right now only one agility class every second week. Enough to keep me in the loop. And stay connected with my friends. I also taught a Seminar this weekend with the Medicine Hat group- it was awesome. I had a good time, and was excited about agility! I even worked Brit a little on the breaks- and enjoyed myself!

So I know the passion is still there- I just need to get over myself. Feel better about myself.  Get focused, and I think that the love I have for agility will come back. I can feel it a little bit just from the weekend. As I gave my pep talk at the end of the weekend- talking about being confident, trusting your training and pushing to be better, it dawned on me that I never take my own advice. lol.

Interestingly enough I have had no problem in Obedience or Scenthurdle. In fact I am on an upswing Obedience wise and have been doing lots of training with both Pixel and Brit. I do think that most of my issue with agility is Me. My own lack of confidence, and issues that go along with that. And Wicca. I have guilt. Lots of guilt. But I've been reading some books about confidence, guilt, and emotions, and trying to be a better, healthier person. It's completely out of character for me. lol. But I'm trying.

Agility has been a huge part of my life for more than 10 years. That's a long time. I am not ready to throw that away, or quit. I think that with time, and thought, and some good old fashioned helpful words from friends I'll be back at it in no time.  With a better attitude, and a new light.


Sarah said...

You could also listen to your friends advice, practice what you preach and not be so god damn stubborn. :) just Sayin'

... I can say this be because I've known you for 10 years. So there.

Suck it up buttercup. Things could always be worse :)

Raelyn said...

Take care, Amanda.... You will "get back in the game" soon!! ;-}

^..^Corgidogmama said...

Breaks are good in order to recharge and reevaluate. You'll figure it out. You're surrounded by many paws that will help.

Anonymous said...

Well we can't control when certain things get us down or why it is happening...we can just try and change it. Sounds like a break is a much needed thing for you and know you will be back at agility. Good to try some different things and perhaps make some different goals for you and your dogs for 2012.