Tuesday, February 14, 2012
A Different Light
So I decided that a break was in need. Some time off from training (even though I have already not been doing much I had been trying to make myself...) A break so that I wasn't training my dogs when my heart wasn't in it. Pixel is so sensitive to that sort of thing- she's not a dog that you can fake it with. A break to give me a chance to see if Agility is as important to me as I think it is. I have no timeline.
I'm still teaching- right now only one agility class every second week. Enough to keep me in the loop. And stay connected with my friends. I also taught a Seminar this weekend with the Medicine Hat group- it was awesome. I had a good time, and was excited about agility! I even worked Brit a little on the breaks- and enjoyed myself!
So I know the passion is still there- I just need to get over myself. Feel better about myself. Get focused, and I think that the love I have for agility will come back. I can feel it a little bit just from the weekend. As I gave my pep talk at the end of the weekend- talking about being confident, trusting your training and pushing to be better, it dawned on me that I never take my own advice. lol.
Interestingly enough I have had no problem in Obedience or Scenthurdle. In fact I am on an upswing Obedience wise and have been doing lots of training with both Pixel and Brit. I do think that most of my issue with agility is Me. My own lack of confidence, and issues that go along with that. And Wicca. I have guilt. Lots of guilt. But I've been reading some books about confidence, guilt, and emotions, and trying to be a better, healthier person. It's completely out of character for me. lol. But I'm trying.
Agility has been a huge part of my life for more than 10 years. That's a long time. I am not ready to throw that away, or quit. I think that with time, and thought, and some good old fashioned helpful words from friends I'll be back at it in no time. With a better attitude, and a new light.