Thursday, May 12, 2016
I have good intentions. I do. But somehow it's already the middle of May.
My excuse is always the same. Busy. Just so busy. I'm so busy being busy that I sometimes forget to just be. It's a problem and has been this way forever and ever.
But I'm mostly happy. And that's important. I try to keep myself centered and look for things that make me happy. I sometimes feel like actual depression might be just around the corner. And then I'll spend a few days refocusing my energy on the positives and the sky is blue and the sun is bright. It's easy to be overwhelmed with life so I'm careful not to let myself slip.
I love my house, I love waking up to the chirping birds, and falling asleep to the owls. The quiet in the middle of the day. The sight of the lake, the sound of the wind in the trees. I even love the drive to the city everyday. It's my best thinking time. The move has probably been the best decision I've ever made for myself.
The dogs are all fantastic- my very loud, excitable, often naughty band of misfits. Siren is a sponge and is learning things at an alarming rate. She is a lot of fun and if I ever get the motivation to do agility again she is the dog for the job. She is so fast!
Wicca and Boone are definitely old dogs. Can't keep weight on either of them, and they can't come on long walks anymore. But they are happy with their bits of training and all the spoiling that comes with age. Brit is good- her nerve thing seems to be taking a break. Which is nice. She's been able to go for runs every day but we keep training to a minimum. I was hoping to enter her for her last two CDX legs in a few weeks. But she is reluctant to jump. :( Leo is wonderful. I really adore him. He is quirky as all get out, but tries so hard for me. My goal is to run Open with him by the end of the summer. We've been training as often as we can (nearly every day!)
Vito is the same badass he always is. Never listening. Always stubborn. Good thing he's cute. And the princess (Pixel) is good. We've been training for some nosework stuff, and today I decided that we should go back to the rally ring. She likes the work and has been mostly sound. Fingers crossed it stays that way!
Work is good. I am finally settled into a new schedule between work and classes and teaching. It's working and I feel like I've got time to breathe. There is still so much I'd like to do teaching wise, but there is just a limit to the amount of hours in a day! It's frustrating because I'd love to teach more and be able to help the general public more with their dogs but I can't stretch myself anymore than I already do.
Family life is interesting, as always. My mom is being transferred over to a long term health care facility. She's been in the hospital for a few months and finally there might be a bed for her. Her mobility is non existent. She is a shadow of her former self. I can hardly remember the good times. She is difficult, manipulative and we barely speak. The move will be good for her. Either push her to try a bit harder or give her a reason to really give up. The decision has always been hers. I don't talk about her much- here or in life, but it brings me great stress and a lot of anger and sadness in my heart. My dad has moved to a new house finally. A fresh start with a cheery new house. I worry for him. All the time. He's so stressed out and is as dependent on my mother as she is on him. He spends hours every day with her. The move was good though and In trying hard to get him some hobbies or something to do besides worry about my mom. My sister and her kids are fantastic. I love them to bits. Avery is going to be two in a few weeks. She is exactly my sister- all attitude and Princess. Nolen is getting so grown up. It is great fun being an aunt. :) And this is month 7 in a serious relationship. He has been so good for me. The first relationship I've spoken of. Because I feel like it could last through my crazy. Lol. Right from day one there was a sense of calm and peace in my soul when I am with him. He makes me happy and has been excellent with the dogs. Pixel especially has really taken to him.
Now that I've written a novel- I can see why my life is so busy. And I didn't even talk about sundog, or the hours of teaching, the time spent training, the issue of trying to prioritize my dog sport interests, the stress of life, and the fact that I really could use a million dollars. ;)
Here are some random dog photos from the past month or so.