Wicca has been doing good- she seemed to be getting stronger, and was back to her normal self. Her exercises were going well, although the dog cannot crawl, or do cavaletti's very well. And then a few days ago she started acting weird, and semi-lame. She didn't do anything out of the ordinary- except she did manage to slip past me and jump out of the van once. And now It's like we are back to square one.
I am so frustrated. It's like Sam all over again. Seriously. Random lameness that pops up now and again, soon turned into chronic lameness, and before you know it my dog had to be euthanised. It was awful. And that's all I've been thinking about for weeks.
When she first seemed off the other morning, I thought I was just being paranoid. But it was pretty obvious she was uncomfortable. She sits funny, yawns a lot, and stretches- often holding the stretches for more than a few seconds. Sarah gave her a massage tonite, and found swelling on/near some muscle on her shoulder that I can't even pronounce. When she saw her a few weeks ago she was okay, except for some serious muscle spasms in her hamstring area (I can't remember where exactly, or what muscle.) The muscle spasms there are actually what I noticed first at the beginning of all of this.
I emailed Dr.Devall, and could have gone to see her tomorrow, but instead have to wait for next week because I can't afford to go on such short notice. Dr.Devall is great- she knows my dog, and really knows her stuff. I believe she has made a difference in my dog. I am grateful to have her so close (only a few hours away), but I am pretty sure I can't afford to go and see her every month forever.
I have been doing pretty good financially- even feeling comfortable enough to drop a day of work in trade for evening classes (which is about the same amount of money after taxes, etc.) Now it is likely that I will have to wait a month to get that shift back, and then go back to working five days and five nights a week... I have been trying to save money for other things (like a dental for Boone, and a dentist for me...). But every spare cent is being used up by this chronic, not going away, issue. I want my dog better, and I never want to have to withhold treatment because I can't afford it. But at this point I am going to have to do some serious life changing things to be able to afford an extra $500 a month. ($350ish for the appointment, plus gas, and potentially a day off work). It's depressing.
Interestingly enough, I actually have been feeling much better mood wise lately. Wicca really has been doing great, and I had a great work break over christmas. And even with this Wicca thing flaring up I am still oddly okay. I don't really believe that my dog is going to die anytime soon, and I do think she will get better. It's just going to take a really long time. And I'm going to have to work extra hard, and cut back on some stuff to be able to afford it. But that's okay. It will work out in the end. I'm just frustrated.
I've already picked up a few private lessons, and am working on a website for that aswell. Private lessons are a good money maker, and take less time than running classes. I can fit them in when I can, vs. trying to fit another class into my already packed schedule. Now to decide what to cut out. lol. I don't pay for classes so that's a non issue, and have no trials planned anytime soon, but my herding addiction may have to be put on hold for a while, and I'll probably have to start walking the dogs to the field for a run, instead of driving all over the country side. And Tim Hortons may have to go without my business, and I might even have to stop buying quick meals and actually cook things. But there are worse things than being forced to exercise and diet. lol. And if I end up with a sound dog at the end of it I'll be happy (and thinner.) lol.