I went to regionals, Nationals, and as many trials as I could get to. I trained every spare moment I had. It was my focus, my passion.
Somewhere along the way my passion started dwindling. I don't know exactly when. Having to retire wicca was a big part of that, and just a year later having pixel injured as well... I started worrying about hurting my dogs and enjoyed the game less and less. For a while I didn't even have a dog to play the game with... Some big life changes around the same time and all of a sudden agility didn't seem so important anymore.
I started herding around that time and very quickly that became my new passion. First Brit, because she couldn't play agility (she has back issues), and then Leo. I get goosebumps still sometimes when I watch my dog figure out something on his own, or when everything is just so. It is a game like no other that I've done. When I am out in a field just me, my dog and sheep I feel At home. As I consider the purchase of another dog, I know I'm in deep... ;)
But just because agility isn't my passion anymore doesn't mean that I havent missed it. The people, the sport itself, being active with my dogs. I've been working hard to get back into the game. I won't lie, it's been a struggle. Building back my own confidence took the most amount of time. Last year a friend and I started a new agility based business and while I haven't trialed much (one, maybe two trials in two years?) Im getting closer to being ready. I'm making time for it, training at home and at our field. It's fun. I've always love the training and the problem solving part.
Leo likes the game a lot. He is a good dog. He may never have the brain stamina for a whole trial but that's okay. I may not have enough for a whole trial either. ;) Siren has started training and is a little pistol. She is sassy and quick and very eager. They are a motivating pair- the enthusiasm they have is contagious!
I will never be competitive like I was. I don't have the drive to be the best, or to push to be the best. I have no desire for the world team, or nationals. I've finally found the fun in training, now I need to be brave enough to enter and go to a trial. And still keep the fun and connection with my dogs. I'm excited to have finally got to this point.
I'm an overthinker, and a procrastinator. So this has been a long time coming. My plan is to enter a few fall trials to get my feet wet, and go from there.
I'm lucky to have great friends who encourage and push just enough to motivate me. And so lucky to have such good dogs who are happy to work with me no matter the sport. ;)
